White coat. Heels.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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