god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
