I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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