i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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