i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
