I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
