i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
