Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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