Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
