covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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