Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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