Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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