forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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