How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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