when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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