So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
