I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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