it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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