porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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