we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
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I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
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I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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