I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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