You're so nebulous sometimes
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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