she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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