yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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