Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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