Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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