Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize