I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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