you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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