Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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