He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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