dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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