You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
