Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
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