From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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