Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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