The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
