i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
