a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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