he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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