and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
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