He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I want to walk on stilts...naked
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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