My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
