I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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