She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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