I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
