i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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