Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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