you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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