i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just tell him i said nine months
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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