I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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