i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
