She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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