Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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