Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
