so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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