if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
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