You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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