Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
