ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She's JV to your varsity
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
