nut hugger
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
