Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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