you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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