sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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