That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
